Well now I’m just all messed up

Today has been weird.

Some things pissed me off, like conversations I had, and how I got soaked on my way to work ’cause the wind was a’blowin’ and of course the sky dumped rain during my commute and umbrellas just don’t really help in that scenario.  OK that didn’t make me THAT angry ’cause I love water.

But then I applied for my pension refund, which was grand, so I was happier.  And I shipped my boxes of winter clothes home for super-cheap compared to Amurrican prices so yay. (Cari, look for those in about 1-3 months, and thanks!!)

But then I hung out with So Jung and Eunmi and Rae and Hong Seung (although he’s new so it wasn’t as traumatic although I’ll miss him too ’cause he’s funny), and it’s the last time I’ll see So Jung and Eunmi ’cause they’re going to Europe on Saturday and get back after I leave and it’s so stupid that I’m leaving them and won’t be here to hear all about their travels and adventures.

Then it hit me.  It hit me what I’m leaving.  It took a while, to build up friendships here, which was the hardest part about being here.  And I still know that I’m supposed to be going home, so it’s all good.

But it’s like So Jung said in the cab ride–how she’s just now realizing how many things there are to do around since she’s newly-single and how we should have hung out so much more.  Yes, that would have been amazing.

Realizing that made my heart hurt a little.  Great.  Awesome.  Now this place is home too, and I’m going to miss it, and have moments of being heartbroken over leaving and ache to be here.  Just peachy.

I’m leaving right when things are getting good.  Like I said, what I’m going to I’m very excited about, so I’m not regretting my decision.

I’m just saying I’ll miss this country and these people way more than I thought I would.

Love just sneaks up on you like that, you know?  Sneaky sneaky.

I’m getting better at saying goodbye, and accepting that life moves on and you have to move with it, but that doesn’t make goodbyes any more fun.

You know that corny little phrase, “home is where the heart is”?  Well, mine is now in 3 1/2 places.

So riddle me that.

I usually edit these things out the wazoo, and make everything is said just right.  But I’m leaving this one as-is.  Ta-da.  (Which reminds me of a funny story with Eunmi.  Ta-da!  Voila!)

Memories are grand.  Email is grander.

I’ll be back.


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