Honesty may not be best, but it’s entertaining

“But, I hate biology, unsightly people. because they are creepy, vulgar.”

~ ESL student’s essay describing himself

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If your husband is fat, divorce him

The chapter right now is on advice, and I received this beautiful illustration as the response to a problem, in place of any actual English.

The problem was, in short: your roommate is dirty and lazy, never showers, never washes dishes, and you can’t communicate with her.

Something along the lines of "throw her into a river, then she'll get clean and her clothes will be washed, then the sun will dry her out, and 19 Gold which I'm not sure what that is, and happy! end."

Also, yes, they did suggest divorcing the slothful husband. Or showing him pictures of hot actors to motivate him.  Or getting fat yourself so you could then workout together.

A few students suggested throwing out his video games and replacing them with the Wii Fit.

I gave them two points.

Impersonating my student’s freakout moments

Korean students, as a whole, are very entertaining.  They are just so darn expressive!

It might be why we get along so well!

17 Things You Don’t Know About School in Korea

(Unless you are/have been here teaching, too.  Obviously.  If it weren’t for smart alec people, I wouldn’t have to include completely unnecessary disclaimers.  People like you are the reason why signs like “Warning: Hot” on coffee cups and “Caution: Do not iron while wearing this shirt” labels exist.)

(It is, however, worth stating that I teach at a middle school, so this is not necessarily applicable across the board.)

Anyways.

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My students are hilarious

Firstly

See if you can guess the word from this charade (and you have no idea how sorry I am that there is not a picture included):

“Teacher!  Uhh…baby…uhh…mother…uh…ggghhhuuuuuhhhh.” *scrunches face, clenches fist*

[explosion into a fit of giggles]

After looking perplexed for a few seconds, I answer, “Um…pregnant?  Oh! Labor!  Birth!  ‘To give birth.'”

So grand.

Secondly…

I had the 1st (7th) graders do an exercise practicing their, “Why…? Because…” shindigs.  I provided a few questions, and here a couple of the unedited results–both entertaining and telling of the culture:

Why do you study?

Because…

  • …meet good boys
  • …my mom
  • …I must parents make feel happy for me.
  • …my mother is very scared (scary)
  • …of my mother
  • …I make much money
  • …I want to be a famous singer in the future
  • …I don’t like fight for my mother
  • …I will married [famous person]. His wife is smart.
  • …I’m going to university
  • etc.

I find it interesting that they are all scared of their mothers–not their fathers.  Hmmm.

Lastly…

On an unrelated note, I’m getting my vacation days signed off on for January, and am literally brimming with excitement.  At the risk of jinxing it, I won’t tell you what I have planned until after I book the tickets and do a little more planning-of-time-lines, buuuut…I’m excited!